Principles of Effective Personal Statement Writing

For many students applying to university next fall, December is the last month to work on their personal statements . For this week's column, I've curated some of my best pieces on this form of writing. They address many of the most common problems I’ve seen in student-written drafts in all my years of tutoring. The principles that make a personal statement distinctive are the same ones that make a cover letter stand out, so my tips should inspire fresh thinking in job seekers as well.

“Try to include something unique and memorable about yourself“

“What are the things that make you interesting, special, or unique?”

“Stand out from the crowd by showcasing who you are and what you can bring to a university.”

“Try to include something unique and memorable about yourself. Admission teams receive thousands of applications each day, so give them a reason to read yours more than once.”

These are some of the personal statement writing tips provided by UCAS (the organization responsible for processing applications to UK universities) to students on its website. It is no coincidence that all of them emphasise the importance of setting oneself apart. When there is only one space available for a bunch of applicants whose grades are more or less similar, admissions officers rely on personal statements to get to know the individuals behind the grades, and the one space is likely to go to the student who demonstrates qualities that others lack.

To give you some idea of the importance of showcasing one’s uniqueness, compare the following two personal statements. The first one contains many hollow, overused phrases frequently found in student writing (“deep passion for," "enthusiasm for learning,” “unwavering perseverance”). The second offers glimpses of the student’s daily life and thoughts. Which one is more likely to leave a lasting impression?

First version

Hello. My name is Chan Siu Ming, and I'm from Hong Kong. I am currently a sixth former at ABC school. I have a deep passion for basketball and dentistry. The former has taught me the importance of collaboration. The latter fascinates me because I’m interested in helping people with their oral health and self-esteem. I believe I have what it takes to excel in dental school because my teachers have often remarked on my enthusiasm for learning and determination to follow through with my goals. Indeed, once I establish a goal, I will pursue it with unwavering perseverance,  no matter how formidable the obstacles. 

My version

The basketball team I joined when I was eight was so mediocre that even in my first training session with them, I was without a doubt its best player. Initially, I reacted the way most players in my situation would: already an expert dribbler,I kept the ball to myself during competitions, assuming if I passed it to my teammates, they would lose it to our opponents. Then the day came when I became curious about what would happen if I let them have the ball. I tested this idea, and the results stunned me. Before, my teammates had been intimidated by me; now they were thankful I was giving them a chance. The more they dribbled, the closer their skill levels matched mine, and the crowning moment was when our team came third in Hong Kong.

Since I began harbouring the dream of becoming a dentist, I’ve been making myself more attuned to every tiny detail of a dental clinic when I’m visiting one, and there, I observed a pattern that reminded me of my basketball experience. One dentist would talk to his staff in the same courteous tone he spoke to me; the vibe in his office was upbeat. In another office, when a young assistant  handed over the scissors to the dentist with its blade facing him, he chided her as if he had time-travelled to ancient China and she were an indentured servant girl. I quickly made a mental note to myself: when I own my practice, I need to remember  the precious lesson from the basketball court and will myself to trust staff who may not be 100% capable yet.

I’m under no illusion that studying dentistry is tough - and cosmetic dentistry, the field I’d like to specialise in, is even tougher - but among the things that will help me stay on course is my confidence in my aesthetic sense to be an outstanding creator of smiles. This confidence was instilled in me by my peers. I cut the hair of a couple of classmates after watching some TikTok videos and getting some tips from my barber, adapting what I learned to each classmate's facial features. They became walking advertisements for my skills, and soon, other classmates began lining up to have their hair cut. Once I acquire ortho know-how from dental school, I will likewise exercise my aesthetic judgement when working on my first few cases, relying on their smiles to bring me more clients.